Out of Office or Out of Line?

When you get an “Out of Office” response to an email do you actually read what it says? Do you listen to the message when you get kicked into voicemail? Most of us have gotten so immune to Out of Office or Away from my Desk messages that we tune them out.

I actually read those email bounces. Not because I have nothing better to do with my time but because I have to keep track of who has actually left the company versus just out playing or working. Most are the generic “I’m out on business/vacation but will get back to you when I return” and offer alternate contact. The stuff we’ve been trained to do as professionals.

But some get quirky. Some add personality and zing to their messages. Recently we had a conversation at the office about what’s entertaining and what pushes the envelope of professionalism. Here are a few of my favorites from the last couple of years (yes, I save them).

I am attending a mandatory “Anger Management in Today’s Sensitive Marketplace” seminar. Therefore I will have limited access to email and voicemail. If you require immediate attention please call [alternate contact] or call me on my cell and see if I get mad.

[Name] has been kidnapped by a renegade band of Polish cleaning ladies who give him limited access to email. If you need immediate assistance, call [alternate contact] and please ask them to pay the ransom.

I will be out of the office this afternoon failing a midterm. I won’t have access to emails and helpdesk is still trying to figure out why I can’t get voicemail. Good luck leaving me a message.

I will be out of office forever. Oh yes! I won’t be returning your email or your voicemail. But I’m sure you’ll eventually find someone who will respond.

I’m leaving the city and pretending I don’t have access to email or cell phones for the next two weeks. That’s right folks, I’m taking a vacation. I’ll be eating good food and drinking fine wine. If you need immediate help, contact [alternate contact]. Thanks and have a good day. I will be!

My last day in the office is [date]. I’ve decided to stop being on call for a whiny, demanding boss and start answering to a new crying, pooping boss. Wish me luck.

Praise the Lord and pass another sandbag. I’ll be in and out of the office over the net few days because I’ve become a “sandbag warrior” for the duration. I’ll respond to messages as time allows.

I’m out of the office today but please leave a message and I’ll get back to you when I get back to you.You decide – which ones are just plain amusing and which ones are out of line?

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